Its becoming an obsession

Meaning;
She has magazine clippings coming out of her head and a tape measure, because she has a constant battle with the media idustry and to be skinny, the tape measure is going in spirals because its a rollercoaster ride, she has her up's and downs. She has an open head because thats all she thinks about and it posseses her thoughts. Theres also three endings to the tape measure each means Life, Death and Recovers. Death is at the top because shes so close to it, Life is second furthest away because shes constantly fighting to live but Recovery is the furthest away because its almost impossible. Because the magazine clippings are attached to the inside of her head means that it is a part of her life and always will be. The tears that run down her face are just tears of emotion; fear, but its also a part of her which is being wasted by the thoughts of being skinny. The melting of the face shows that she is disolving into becoming just an image to the media industry and society, that its not her anymore and shes slowing dying.

when I see your face it makes me want to die'

This picture had a few hidden meaning to it.
Her mouth is covered by the cloth so she can't speak because she has no voice of her own, no say in what she does, she has the voice of ana controlling her. Also so she so she can't eat, because eating is a terrible sin.
He nakedness is because ana stripped her from her life, she no longer can live the way she wants to until shes perfect then she can fit into the tiny tiny clothes.
The bottom half is missing because of the starvation and strict self harming is making her fragile and weak that she is slowly fading away, soon ana would have succeeded into taking another life of a poor innocent girl who has been demoralized by the media industry and so obsessed with the image of 'perfect and beauty'.

beauty is art?

Well the whole of last night I didn't sleep one bit :/ which is bad yes I know but I did draw these which I thought I would share, by the way they're only the rough ones so I remember to do the neat versions;









I know some can do with some improvements and some adjustments have been made, when I finally so the neat versions I will post them :')

Take care x



its been a while

Well it has been a while since I last posted a blog. I haven't even been busy so I can't use that excuse.. Over the time I haven't been blogging I've had my ups and downs..

Some days I felt as if I'm taking up to much space and that I should just leave the world in peace.

But other days I've been pretty proud of myself :')

At this moment in time I'm pretty happy with myself, because I've just recently come back from Egypt and whilst I was over there since I ate with my boyfriend at nights I didn't eat a lot, some days I fasted without actually realizing it, from what i can remember there was only one day I kind of pigged out because I had 2 slices of pizza but i surely burned the calories off by swimming and walking, that's what I love about going on holiday, its like continuous exercise everyday! AMAZING... Around 4 days into the holiday I had got 'acute tonsilltis' which meant I couldn't eat anyway so there wasn't any moaning from the parents.. and since I've got back to England I've had a really really bad throat.. My mum made me eating some mash potato but I couldn't it brought me into tears so she didn't make me eat then either.. My throat still hurts pretty bad so she's still not bothering me to eat so its days of fasting :')

I can finally fit perfectly (dare I say its even a little baggy) into my size 4 blazer, but I haven't weighed myself yet before I went on holiday I was 96lb I daren't weigh myself in case I haven't lost much or I've gained loads over Christmas (since i was forced to eat that because of family) I will some day soon pick up the courage to do it though and hopefully it would be good results..

Take care x